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Paul Ryan announced that after a lot of thought, and talking it over with family and friends, that he is not going to run for president in 2016. I'm telling you, this announcement sent shock waves through no one.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
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David Michael Letterman
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More quotes by David Letterman
I don't like stand-up comedy that requires a lot of props. I really respect people who can walk out onstage alone and with no other tool but their own minds and can make you laugh and maybe even think a little.
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Tomorrow is Election Day. It's what they call the midterm elections, and you can cut the indifference with a knife. It's the day Americans leave work early and pretend to vote.
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Back when we started this show, the hottest program on television was 'Keeping Up With the Gabors.'
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Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.
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One day you're the leader of Iraq, the next day you're being checked for fleas on Fox News.
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When we started the show, there were mixed responses. Half of the people said, 'That show doesn't have a chance.' The other half said, 'That show doesn't have a prayer.'
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Kim Jong Un's sister got married. That sounds like another Seth Rogen movie, doesn't it?
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The FCC has delayed the decision on the Time/Warner Comcast merger. So how do you think those folks like being put on hold?
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Last night, President Bush gave a prime-time press conference. It was such a big deal that Fox decided to preempt American Idol. Which made sense to me, you don't want too many amateurs on in one night.
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