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Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war in Iraq that his brother started. All he needs is a hot tub time machine.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
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Indianapolis
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David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
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More quotes by David Letterman
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Have you been following the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Or as we call it now, the Dead Sea.
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Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license.
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Life experience is the best teacher.
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Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.
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Did you get the new iPhone yet? The iPhone that I have is outdated. It has two pieces and a hand crank.
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Mitt Romney is doing what he can. He's trying very hard. He wants to unite America, the rich with the wealthy, the poor with the indigent, and the white with the Caucasian.
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Scientists have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is life after death -- though they say it's virtually impossible to get decent Chinese food.
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