Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Because Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.
David Letterman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Different
Squad
Mormon
Firing
Cigarette
Largely
Littles
Little
Blindfolded
Country
Utah
More quotes by David Letterman
The oil spill is getting bad. There is so much oil and tar now in the Gulf of Mexico, Cubans can now walk to Miami.
David Letterman
Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.
David Letterman
I went through one period when I smoked a surprising, a really breath-taking, amount of grass almost every night.
David Letterman
Over in Afghanistan, Osama stuck his head out of the cave and saw a shadow. So, that means six more weeks of bombing.
David Letterman
Barack Obama's busy moving into the White House. Earlier today, John McCain was blowing on his soup.
David Letterman
Tim Tebow has been on the bench longer than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
David Letterman
The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has new balloons this year including the Pillsbury Doughboy balloon and the first openly gay balloon. Also the Thomas Tank Engine balloon, and they even have the Ebola nurse balloon.
David Letterman
I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.
David Letterman
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
David Letterman
But I was thinking about this, the Obamas want to adopt a stray dog from the pound. And I think that is admirable. I believe the last president to bring a stray dog into the White House got impeached.
David Letterman
It is cold down in Washington, DC. They had to use an ice scraper on John Boehner's face to get the tears off, it was so cold.
David Letterman
President Obama, by the way, is, I think, making his first presidential European trip. And while he's there in Europe, he plans to fire the CEO's of BMW and Volkswagen.
David Letterman
Midnight, and the kitties are sleeping.
David Letterman
Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions.
David Letterman
It was announced that President Obama and his wife, when they're finished in Washington, are moving to New York City. The guy just can't get enough gridlock.
David Letterman
Nothing, believe me, nothing is more satisfying to me personally than getting a great idea and then beatin' it to death.
David Letterman
I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.
David Letterman
Hillary went to a Chipotle in a tortilla pantsuit.
David Letterman
Holyfield won the fight. It's not the first time Romney has been knocked out by a black guy.
David Letterman
Donald Trump has a great campaign slogan: 'A complex world demands complex hair.'
David Letterman