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It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
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Deduct
Still
Taxes
Time
Loss
Late
Days
Show
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More quotes by David Letterman
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President Obama is going to take two weeks to unwind, as opposed to President Bush, who never wound.
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I haven't reached nirvana yet, but I've been to Detroit.
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A priest in New York City was arrested on gun possession. These days, you better be happy that the bulge in his pocket is a .38.
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The Japanese Prime Minister has apologized for Japan's part in World War II. However, he still hasn't mentioned anything about karaoke.
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I heard doctors revived a man who had been dead for 4-1/2 minutes. When they asked him what it was like being dead, he said it was like listening to Yankees announcer Phil Rizzuto during a rain delay.
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As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but they'll probably go with a different body.
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How many people saw Arnold's speech last night? I haven't seen that many Kennedys in one place since their last trial.
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By accident Jeb Bush announced that he was running for president. And then he said, 'No, not yet. OK, I made a mistake.' And then later in the day, by accident, he called Hillary and congratulated her.
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When I stopped smoking cigars it was the biggest mistake I made in my life. So my resolution for 98 is Im going to start smoking cigars again. I gave them up about a year and a half ago, and I now realize that it may have been my one last fun, interesting thing to do.
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