Quote

Hillary Clinton is running for president. This time around, she promises to be warm and approachable. Like me.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Running
Around
Approachable
Time
Promises
Like
Hillary
Warm
Clinton
Promise
President

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
There are so many flavors of Coke now - Coke with lemon, Coke with vanilla, Coke with lime, Cherry Coke, and they've just brought out another new flavor - Coke with Pepsi.
David Letterman
Image
I knew that if I woke up hung over, I couldn't do the best possible job on the show, so I had to quit. Also, I'd consumed a lot of beer for a lot of years, and I thought, That's enough. I've had my fun and I'm glad I quit.
David Letterman
Image
Everybody was upset that Vladimir Putin was missing. He was in Switzerland with his girlfriend. She had a baby in Switzerland because in Russia childbirth is not covered by Putin-care.
David Letterman
Image
When Martha gets out she'll be under house arrest in her big $40 million mansion in Bedford. Boy, that'll teach her. She's only allowed out of the house for doctors visits, grocery shopping, or to dump more stock.
David Letterman
Image
Obama said they've had some glitches with the Affordable Care website. I'll tell you something. If you order a pair of pants online and they send you the wrong color, that's a glitch. This is like a Carnival cruise, for God's sake!
David Letterman
Image
You like science? You enjoy science? Always use it for good, never for evil. Can you promise me that?
David Letterman
Image
The president met with BP CEO Tony Hayward, and Obama was demanding that BP clean up the Gulf. And I'm thinking, good luck. They can't even clean up their gas station restrooms.
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.
David Letterman
Image
Mayor de Blasio wants to eliminate garbage. He believes New York City produces way too much garbage. Well, heck, forget about producing too much garbage. What about late-night talk shows?
David Letterman
Image
But down in Florida in the early voting, there were computer glitches, confusing ballots, long lines and chaos. And when President Bush heard about this, he said, 'Mission accomplished!'
David Letterman
Image
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
David Letterman
Image
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
David Letterman
Image
John Boehner - doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of guy who licks his thumb when he counts his money.
David Letterman
Image
Bronco Rick Perry is the first candidate I've ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy. You know, we criticized George W. Bush a lot, but there was one thing he was very disciplined about, and that was getting his full eight years of sleep.
David Letterman
Image
President Bush announced that the war in Iraq has been won. It's all over, it's been won. I believe this would be Bush's first uncontested victory.
David Letterman
Image
Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound.
David Letterman
Image
Today Mitt Romney is 68 years old. It's kind of sad, a 68-year-old guy with no job, no future - wait a minute, that's me.
David Letterman
Image
You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.
David Letterman
Image
All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney has asked Todd Akin to step down. That's too bad. Todd Akin was the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century.
David Letterman