Quote

It's tax season. When I woke this morning and realized it was tax season, I said, My God, didn't we just pay taxes last year?

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Morning
Year
Lasts
Woke
Last
Season
Didn
Seasons
Years
Realized
Taxes
Pay

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration.
David Letterman
Image
Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.
David Letterman
Image
Tim Tebow has been on the bench longer than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
David Letterman
Image
When I stopped smoking cigars it was the biggest mistake I made in my life. So my resolution for 98 is Im going to start smoking cigars again. I gave them up about a year and a half ago, and I now realize that it may have been my one last fun, interesting thing to do.
David Letterman
Image
Pope Francis is going to go to Washington, D.C., to address Congress. He believes the New England Patriots have been deflating his giant hat.
David Letterman
Image
Today is Earth Day. The way I see it, as humans the very least we can do is recycle. A lot of recycling is going on this year. For example, Bushes and Clintons.
David Letterman
Image
Sarah Palin had a big op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, and she said she's against death panels. And I thought, 'Really? She's the one who pulled the plug on the McCain campaign.'
David Letterman
Image
Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.
David Letterman
Image
Arnold is now the front runner. Everyone was snickering about it a month ago, now it looks like he will be the next governor of California. He is so confident he has already chosen a body oil for the inauguration.
David Letterman
Image
Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.
David Letterman
Image
President Bush announced that the war in Iraq has been won. It's all over, it's been won. I believe this would be Bush's first uncontested victory.
David Letterman
Image
Howard Dean was endorsed by former Vice President Al Gore and now he is getting advice from Al Gore. And I'm thinking, who better to give advice than the guy who couldn't even get elected with the most votes?
David Letterman
Image
President Bush says he is looking forward to the testimony of Condoleezza Rice. Yes, he is very excited about Condoleezza Rice's testimony before Congress. Well, it makes perfect sense - he wants to know what was going on, too.
David Letterman
Image
Vladimir Putin said the tanks that you see rolling through the streets are just part of the closing ceremonies of the Olympics.
David Letterman
Image
The general election's taking place today in Iraq, so I guess that means we're one step closer to being there for another 10 years.
David Letterman
Image
While I was gone, I had quintuple bypass surgery on my heart. Plus, I got a haircut.
David Letterman
Image
In a recent interview, Howard Dean admitted that he used to drink and smoke pot. So, now all he needs to put him over the top is a sex scandal.
David Letterman
Image
Honey, what happened to ladies first? Husband replies, That's the reason why the worlds a mess today, because a lady went first!
David Letterman
Image
Security here in New York City is still very tight. Hookers in Times Square now are demanding two forms of fake ID.
David Letterman
Image
Well, we're just a couple of weeks from new President Barack Obama being sworn in. And he's been very busy naming a lot of cabinet positions. And today he announced that he wants the surgeon general to be TV Dr. Sanjay Gupta. That was the kid on 'American Idol,' wasn't it?
David Letterman