Quote

Hillary went to a Chipotle in a tortilla pantsuit.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Tortilla
Tortillas
Hillary
Went

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.
David Letterman
Image
You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.
David Letterman
Image
Barack Obama's busy moving into the White House. Earlier today, John McCain was blowing on his soup.
David Letterman
Image
At the White House, they caught another fence jumper earlier today. It was Obama trying to get out.
David Letterman
Image
They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.
David Letterman
Image
Congratulations to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term. It was very close. He received 99 percent of the vote, and one percent of the vote went for last-minute candidate Frank Lautenberg.
David Letterman
Image
Child labor, not a problem. Censorship, not a problem. Torture, not a problem. Chewing gum in China - oh, my God! You better not be over here chewing gum.
David Letterman
Image
The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.
David Letterman
Image
One of the dogs in the competition, a Portuguese Water Dog, is related to President Obama's dog, Bo. But they only see each other at funerals and weddings.
David Letterman
Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator.
David Letterman
Image
I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney has asked Todd Akin to step down. That's too bad. Todd Akin was the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century.
David Letterman
Image
Over in Afghanistan, Osama stuck his head out of the cave and saw a shadow. So, that means six more weeks of bombing.
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
David Letterman
Image
The morning after I had my heart bypass, the doctor called and said, Soon you'll be able to have sex. I said, I've heard that for years.
David Letterman
Image
There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They prefer to buy the bird live and then push it in front of a subway train.
David Letterman
Image
Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.
David Letterman
Image
I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.
David Letterman
Image
Stocks are at an all-time high today. I don't have any money in the stock market. I don't have the stomach for the ups and downs. So about 20 years ago I put all of my money and liquid assets into videotape rewind machines.
David Letterman
Image
Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has apparently just slipped across the border into Pakistan.
David Letterman