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Today is Earth Day. The way I see it, as humans the very least we can do is recycle. A lot of recycling is going on this year. For example, Bushes and Clintons.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Earth
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Recycle
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More quotes by David Letterman

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Congratulations to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term. It was very close. He received 99 percent of the vote, and one percent of the vote went for last-minute candidate Frank Lautenberg.
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You know, Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska, you know that. And she's a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. So great, is what I'm thinking, another vice president that shoots a drinking buddy just get ready.
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Obama said they've had some glitches with the Affordable Care website. I'll tell you something. If you order a pair of pants online and they send you the wrong color, that's a glitch. This is like a Carnival cruise, for God's sake!
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I got some good news earlier today before the show. Thanks to Alex Rodriguez, I am no longer the most overpaid disappointment in New York City.
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It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.
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Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar.
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There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.
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The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.
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Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.
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They're doing everything they can to tighten security at the White House. Today, on the roof of the White House, they added one of those fake owls.
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New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
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Mitt Romney is not going to be running for president. So you know what that means. We are getting closer and closer to 'President Trump.'
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Newt Gingrich's campaign is broke. All the money gone. So now he's charging $50 for a photo. And for $100 you can marry him.
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Fifteen years ago tomorrow I had open heart surgery, a quintuple bypass surgery. Thanks to all of my doctors. Because of them, in 15 years of life I've been able to experience, well, acid reflux, short-term memory loss, and erectile dysfunction. Thanks for all your work. It's great to be alive.
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According to the recent polls, Bush has a slight lead over John Kerry. So today, Bush hung a banner over the White House saying, 'Mission Accomplished.'
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I want to tell you though, I'm having the absolute best birthday ever. Last night -- this was so sweet, it means a great deal to me -- the other cult members got together and they all took me out to see Star Wars.
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Mary Keitany from Kenya won the women's race at the New York City Marathon. You can tell she was fast because guys on the street didn't even have time to finish their catcalls.
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Trump says that if he's elected, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant.
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But I was thinking about this, the Obamas want to adopt a stray dog from the pound. And I think that is admirable. I believe the last president to bring a stray dog into the White House got impeached.
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Presidential candidate Howard Dean is now being attacked for dodging the draft. I never knew this about the guy - but now I know this guy is presidential material.
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