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Back when we started this show, the hottest program on television was 'Keeping Up With the Gabors.'

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Back
Hottest
Keeping
Program
Started
Television
Show
Shows

More quotes by David Letterman

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President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He's going to rebuild the infrastructure. He's going to create jobs. He said if it works there, he'll try it here.
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A priest in New York City was arrested on gun possession. These days, you better be happy that the bulge in his pocket is a .38.
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The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It's being called 'Operation Approval Ratings.'
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You've got to be careful smoking weed. It causes memory loss. And also, it causes memory loss.
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Because Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.
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Mayor de Blasio wants to eliminate garbage. He believes New York City produces way too much garbage. Well, heck, forget about producing too much garbage. What about late-night talk shows?
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The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag
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At the White House, they caught another fence jumper earlier today. It was Obama trying to get out.
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Hillary Clinton is now in Iowa. She's spending every waking minute of her day meeting ordinary people, and it's to prepare her for a job in which she will never again meet an ordinary person.
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Yesterday was Chinese New Year. It's the Year of the Rabbit. And here's how dumb I am. I'm still writing the Year of the Pig on my checks.
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Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates.
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The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.
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Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.
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Yesterday, the Senate voted to approve President Clinton's decision to send troops to Bosnia. And they voted to change the name of that mission to Operation Forget About Whitewater.
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John Kerry spent the day reading to preschoolers ... and the kids said Kerry actually lacked warmth and failed to articulate a clear message.
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I think the number one public-relations blunder Osama has made is that he lives in a cave-fortress and if there's one thing we've learned from it's that you can't trust a guy who lives in a cave-fortress -- Lex Luther, Captain Nemo, Dr. Evil. I'm telling you the list goes on.
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The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, 'If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails.'
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Here's my problem. On Valentine's Day the flowers are wilting and so am I.
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Today is Earth Day. The way I see it, as humans the very least we can do is recycle. A lot of recycling is going on this year. For example, Bushes and Clintons.
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You know who's upset now with ISIS? Al Qaeda. It's because ISIS is getting more attention than Al Qaeda. So now, Saturday night will be Ayman al-Zawahiri bobblehead night.
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