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Donald Trump has a great campaign slogan: 'A complex world demands complex hair.'
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
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Hair
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Trump
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Great
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Complex
Donald
More quotes by David Letterman
The reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay billions for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.
David Letterman
I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.
David Letterman
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector.
David Letterman
Hillary's trying to appear downhome. Earlier today she was sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit.
David Letterman
A priest in New York City was arrested on gun possession. These days, you better be happy that the bulge in his pocket is a .38.
David Letterman
Why we are here: To tremble at the terrible beauty of the stars, to shed a tear at the perfection of Beethoven's symphonies, and to crack a cold one now and then.
David Letterman
Mitt Romney said he's not concerned about the very poor. What he means is people making less than a million.
David Letterman
The FCC has delayed the decision on the Time/Warner Comcast merger. So how do you think those folks like being put on hold?
David Letterman
President Bush says he is looking forward to the testimony of Condoleezza Rice. Yes, he is very excited about Condoleezza Rice's testimony before Congress. Well, it makes perfect sense - he wants to know what was going on, too.
David Letterman
You know, Sarah Palin is the Governor of Alaska, you know that. And she's a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association. So great, is what I'm thinking, another vice president that shoots a drinking buddy just get ready.
David Letterman
Here in New York City, it's cold. It's so cold the Republicans want to use the Keystone Pipeline to deliver soup.
David Letterman
How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running for this Olympics. But here's what happened. We got outbribed.
David Letterman
Presidential candidate Howard Dean is now being attacked for dodging the draft. I never knew this about the guy - but now I know this guy is presidential material.
David Letterman
Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.
David Letterman
I worry about Rick Perry. One, he's too conservative, Two, his debating skills. And three ... Oh crap, what was three?
David Letterman
Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are.
David Letterman
Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.
David Letterman
My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.
David Letterman
Bush explained his strategy for transfer of power. It's a two part plan. Part one: clean out his desk. Part two: rent a U-Haul.
David Letterman
Mitt Romney and his family have a big two-day weekend plan. They're going to hike to the top of his money.
David Letterman