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Meryl Streep is on the program tonight. I like to throw her a little work whenever I can.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
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Work
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Tonight
Throw
Whenever
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Littles
More quotes by David Letterman
We're learning more about Osama bin Laden. His father was married 16 times, and he has five wives. I think we're getting to the root of his intense anger. And they say bin Laden never spends the night in the same place twice. No, wait a minute, that's Clinton.
David Letterman
Now all of us can talk to the NSA -- just by dialing any number.
David Letterman
It looks like President Bush will be handing over power to the Iraqis by June 30th. That's amazing and not only that, but it looks like he'll be handing over power to the Democrats by November 2nd.
David Letterman
New York is great though. If you?re here and want a one of a kind souvenir be sure to take home the police sketch of your assailant.
David Letterman
Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.
David Letterman
Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar.
David Letterman
Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.
David Letterman
Pamela Anderson is a great dancer considering she can't see her feet.
David Letterman
The president met with BP CEO Tony Hayward, and Obama was demanding that BP clean up the Gulf. And I'm thinking, good luck. They can't even clean up their gas station restrooms.
David Letterman
Over in Afghanistan, Osama stuck his head out of the cave and saw a shadow. So, that means six more weeks of bombing.
David Letterman
Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.
David Letterman
Barack Obama is putting his team together to take over the Administration. So far, he's got his mother-in-law, who is going to be living with him, and they are talking about Hillary for Secretary of State. You have your mother-in-law and Hillary Clinton. Sounds like smooth sailing to me.
David Letterman
Bill Clinton may in fact be moving back into the White House. And coincidentally I'm thinking about moving back into my mother's house.
David Letterman
Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.
David Letterman
Donald Trump is on the show tonight. Donald is a big man, I think 230 pounds -- 235 with cologne.
David Letterman
We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.
David Letterman
The candidates at the Republican debate looked like a town council that was outlawing dancing. They looked like a board of directors that was lying about poisoning a river.
David Letterman
Mitt Romney is not going to be running for president. So you know what that means. We are getting closer and closer to 'President Trump.'
David Letterman
I believe I have voted for both Democrats and Republicans. Am I either one? Absolutely not. Ladies and gentlemen, I am an American.
David Letterman
Here in New York City you can now walk around smoking weed and all they will do if they see you is write you a ticket. Unfortunately, the ticket will be to a Jets game.
David Letterman
