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Meryl Streep is on the program tonight. I like to throw her a little work whenever I can.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Tonight
Throw
Whenever
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Little
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Streep

More quotes by David Letterman

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Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates.
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As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but they'll probably go with a different body.
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Newt Gingrich has criticized 'New York elites' who ride the subway. One of those subway elites threw up on my pants this morning.
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Mayor de Blasio has legalized ferrets. Now you can legally own ferrets in New York City. I want to tell you something. If I want to see anymore beady-eyed little weasels, I'll just keep riding the subway.
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Mitt Romney was a guest on 'The Tonight Show' on NBC. It's interesting — you have an empty suit trying to please everyone, and then Romney comes out.
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Hillary has now erased all of her emails, and she also had all of her pantsuits dry cleaned.
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Bush explained his strategy for transfer of power. It's a two part plan. Part one: clean out his desk. Part two: rent a U-Haul.
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I went through one period when I smoked a surprising, a really breath-taking, amount of grass almost every night.
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So the guy who shot Gadhafi was wearing a Yankees cap. Did you see that? If he'd had a Boston Red Sox hat on he probably would have missed.
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Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.
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I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?
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Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.
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Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.
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President Bush says he now wants to simplify the tax code. Only those in the blue states will pay.
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Did you hear what the Republicans have said about Hillary Clinton? They say she's too angry to be president. Hillary Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton, too angry to be president. When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Oh yeah? I'll rip your throats out, you bastards.'
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Hillary is in Iowa to listen to what the people are saying - because if you want her to speak, that will cost you $200,000. So she's there listening.
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You've got to be careful smoking weed. It causes memory loss. And also, it causes memory loss.
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President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?
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Mitt Romney is not going to run for president. Mitt said it's time for fresh faces. So that's good news for Bruce Jenner.
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