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Don't use your bedroom for work, unless you're a prostitute.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Unless
Use
Work
Prostitute
Bedroom

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Barack Obama's busy moving into the White House. Earlier today, John McCain was blowing on his soup.
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Yesterday, the Senate voted to approve President Clinton's decision to send troops to Bosnia. And they voted to change the name of that mission to Operation Forget About Whitewater.
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A small handgun makes any TV remote control.
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This Hillary Clinton scandal has to do with emails. All I get are emails for Canadian Viagra.
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Here's my problem. On Valentine's Day the flowers are wilting and so am I.
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I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.
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President Obama is going to take two weeks to unwind, as opposed to President Bush, who never wound.
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According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their city anytime.
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Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.
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They're doing everything they can to tighten security at the White House. Today, on the roof of the White House, they added one of those fake owls.
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I'd do a podcast about guys wearing shorts when it's too cold.
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Mitt Romney is doing what he can. He's trying very hard. He wants to unite America, the rich with the wealthy, the poor with the indigent, and the white with the Caucasian.
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Yesterday was Election Day. If we have any Democrats in the audience, I'm sorry but you're going to have to give up your seats.
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Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.
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Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.
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But I was thinking about this, the Obamas want to adopt a stray dog from the pound. And I think that is admirable. I believe the last president to bring a stray dog into the White House got impeached.
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Herman Cain was unaware that China is a nuclear power. And I said to myself, 'Hey, Herman, how about making an unwanted advance on a history book?'
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At the White House, they caught another fence jumper earlier today. It was Obama trying to get out.
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Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material.
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Let's see what's going on over in Iraq. A Burger King has opened up and prostitutes are back on the street of Baghdad after 20 years. Fast food and hookers - they are truly living the American Dream.
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