Quote

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Great
Wherever
People
Everywhere
Travel
Comedy
Land
Water
Funny
Found
Travelled

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
David Letterman
Image
The Japanese Prime Minister has apologized for Japan's part in World War II. However, he still hasn't mentioned anything about karaoke.
David Letterman
Image
I feel like Bush presidencies are like Godfather films. You should stop at two.
David Letterman
Image
President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.
David Letterman
Image
Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.
David Letterman
Image
The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag
David Letterman
Image
The ayatollah in Iran says he believes that he got the letter, but he thinks he accidentally threw it out with his Crate & Barrel catalog.
David Letterman
Image
I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host.
David Letterman
Image
By accident Jeb Bush announced that he was running for president. And then he said, 'No, not yet. OK, I made a mistake.' And then later in the day, by accident, he called Hillary and congratulated her.
David Letterman
Image
Barack Obama's busy moving into the White House. Earlier today, John McCain was blowing on his soup.
David Letterman
Image
You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.
David Letterman
Image
Life experience is the best teacher.
David Letterman
Image
Sunday is the Academy Awards. Every time an actor says, 'I didn't expect this,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg will do a shot.
David Letterman
Image
You know, Barack Obama the last ten days was traveling overseas campaigning in Europe and everywhere. It was so successful, campaigning abroad, that he is actually thinking about campaigning here in the United States.
David Letterman
Image
Did you hear about this genius that got on a plane and set fire to his feet? Turns out he had bombs in his shoes and the problem all started when the flight attendants asked him nicely to extinguish his feet. He was wearing exploding sneakers. The new Nike Air-Jihads!
David Letterman
Image
Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew is coming. You drink it, you get a combination of type 1 and type 2 diabetes.
David Letterman
Image
Tomorrow is Election Day. It's what they call the midterm elections, and you can cut the indifference with a knife. It's the day Americans leave work early and pretend to vote.
David Letterman
Image
You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.
David Letterman
Image
We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.
David Letterman
Image
You know who's upset now with ISIS? Al Qaeda. It's because ISIS is getting more attention than Al Qaeda. So now, Saturday night will be Ayman al-Zawahiri bobblehead night.
David Letterman