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I like my cinema gritty, I like my eggs gritty.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Gritty
Eggs
Cinema
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More quotes by David Letterman
You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.
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Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.
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My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.
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Today Mitt Romney is 68 years old. It's kind of sad, a 68-year-old guy with no job, no future - wait a minute, that's me.
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America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
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I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.
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Bronco Rick Perry is the first candidate I've ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy. You know, we criticized George W. Bush a lot, but there was one thing he was very disciplined about, and that was getting his full eight years of sleep.
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Herman Cain was unaware that China is a nuclear power. And I said to myself, 'Hey, Herman, how about making an unwanted advance on a history book?'
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There just isn't enough televised Chess
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I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.
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By accident Jeb Bush announced that he was running for president. And then he said, 'No, not yet. OK, I made a mistake.' And then later in the day, by accident, he called Hillary and congratulated her.
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I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.
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Newt Gingrich's campaign is broke. All the money gone. So now he's charging $50 for a photo. And for $100 you can marry him.
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This will be Michelle Obama's last opportunity to try to get me to eat kale.
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When Martha gets out she'll be under house arrest in her big $40 million mansion in Bedford. Boy, that'll teach her. She's only allowed out of the house for doctors visits, grocery shopping, or to dump more stock.
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As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but they'll probably go with a different body.
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Mayor de Blasio said that whenever he goes to a Yankee game he gets sick and tired of people booing and giving him the finger. Hey, what do you want? You're the mayor of New York City. It comes with the gig, pal.
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