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I like my cinema gritty, I like my eggs gritty.
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Cinema
Like
Gritty
Eggs
More quotes by David Letterman
Don't use your bedroom for work, unless you're a prostitute.
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While I was gone, I had quintuple bypass surgery on my heart. Plus, I got a haircut.
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Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice.
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The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.
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Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.
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Tim Tebow has been on the bench longer than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
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The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag
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Vladimir Putin said the tanks that you see rolling through the streets are just part of the closing ceremonies of the Olympics.
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Here in New York City you can now walk around smoking weed and all they will do if they see you is write you a ticket. Unfortunately, the ticket will be to a Jets game.
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President Bush says he now wants to simplify the tax code. Only those in the blue states will pay.
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Today Mitt Romney is 68 years old. It's kind of sad, a 68-year-old guy with no job, no future - wait a minute, that's me.
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So the guy who shot Gadhafi was wearing a Yankees cap. Did you see that? If he'd had a Boston Red Sox hat on he probably would have missed.
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The Pope also said that while he's in town he would like to go see 'The Book of Mormon.'
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Security here in New York City is still very tight. Hookers in Times Square now are demanding two forms of fake ID.
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It looks like President Bush will be handing over power to the Iraqis by June 30th. That's amazing and not only that, but it looks like he'll be handing over power to the Democrats by November 2nd.
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There is so much oil now in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can thank the folks of British Petroleum for this, so much oil in the Gulf, you can now park on it.
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Illinois is the only state where the present governor rides around in a car whose license plate was made by a previous governor.
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Presidential candidate Howard Dean is now being attacked for dodging the draft. I never knew this about the guy - but now I know this guy is presidential material.
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Some good news. Finally, President Bush is going to do something about global warming. He became alarmed when another chunk of ice fell off his mother.
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Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.
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