Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
David Letterman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Comedy
Elite
Name
Elites
Names
Guard
Badly
Changing
Iraq
Democratic
Republican
More quotes by David Letterman
Newt Gingrich's campaign is broke. All the money gone. So now he's charging $50 for a photo. And for $100 you can marry him.
David Letterman
It's disappointing when you finally get to meet someone you admire and he conducts himself as a jerk.
David Letterman
Any online gamblers here? Well, Congress is looking in shutting that down.There's going to be a massive congressional investigation of online gambling and they're going to shut it down. And when they get done with that, they're going to look into this North Korean thing.
David Letterman
Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.
David Letterman
They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.
David Letterman
Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.
David Letterman
One day you're the leader of Iraq, the next day you're being checked for fleas on Fox News.
David Letterman
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
David Letterman
Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.
David Letterman
North Korean dictator Kim Jung Il may be stepping down. Yeah, experts in the State Department say he could be replaced by his son, Menta Li Ill.
David Letterman
I don't like stand-up comedy that requires a lot of props. I really respect people who can walk out onstage alone and with no other tool but their own minds and can make you laugh and maybe even think a little.
David Letterman
The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.
David Letterman
A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf?
David Letterman
Love: You can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun.
David Letterman
I haven't reached nirvana yet, but I've been to Detroit.
David Letterman
Every day is President's Day when you have an intern!
David Letterman
Don't kid yourself. Global warming is no joke. Here's how serious global warming has gotten to be in the United States. In this country global warming is so bad, we are now actually starting to warm up to Barry Bonds.
David Letterman
I wish the iPhone people would design one that's black and has two pieces, and it plugs into the wall and you can pick one piece up and talk into it. I tell you, the whole time I had one of those old-fashioned plug-in phones, not once did I misplace it.
David Letterman
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
David Letterman
The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag
David Letterman