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If I can be serious now, and I have the feeling I can.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Serious
Feeling
Feelings

More quotes by David Letterman

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I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.
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I heard doctors revived a man who had been dead for 4-1/2 minutes. When they asked him what it was like being dead, he said it was like listening to Yankees announcer Phil Rizzuto during a rain delay.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator.
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Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.
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Yesterday was Chinese New Year. It's the Year of the Rabbit. And here's how dumb I am. I'm still writing the Year of the Pig on my checks.
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By accident Jeb Bush announced that he was running for president. And then he said, 'No, not yet. OK, I made a mistake.' And then later in the day, by accident, he called Hillary and congratulated her.
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The post office is raising the price of stamps again. I heard that and said to myself, 'If only there was an inexpensive electronic way of communicating.'
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The best part about holiday parties is the alcohol. You have a couple of drinks and you tell your coworkers and your superiors what you really think about them. And then the fun begins.
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Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.
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Hillary is in Iowa to listen to what the people are saying - because if you want her to speak, that will cost you $200,000. So she's there listening.
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In a recent interview, Howard Dean admitted that he used to drink and smoke pot. So, now all he needs to put him over the top is a sex scandal.
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Weak coffee is the greatest sin against humanity.
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It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
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All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.
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I worry about Rick Perry. One, he's too conservative, Two, his debating skills. And three ... Oh crap, what was three?
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They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.
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Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'
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I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.
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So the guy who shot Gadhafi was wearing a Yankees cap. Did you see that? If he'd had a Boston Red Sox hat on he probably would have missed.
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I hate decaffeinated coffee. It's useless brown water.
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