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I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Ladies
Gentleman
Jokes
Aren
Comedy
Running
Problem
Impeachment
Great
Gentlemen

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Mayor de Blasio said that whenever he goes to a Yankee game he gets sick and tired of people booing and giving him the finger. Hey, what do you want? You're the mayor of New York City. It comes with the gig, pal.
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Herman Cain was unaware that China is a nuclear power. And I said to myself, 'Hey, Herman, how about making an unwanted advance on a history book?'
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The president met with BP CEO Tony Hayward, and Obama was demanding that BP clean up the Gulf. And I'm thinking, good luck. They can't even clean up their gas station restrooms.
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Meryl Streep is on the program tonight. I like to throw her a little work whenever I can.
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Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.
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Hillary is in Iowa to listen to what the people are saying - because if you want her to speak, that will cost you $200,000. So she's there listening.
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Now all of us can talk to the NSA -- just by dialing any number.
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You're not really drinking coffee unless you drink it black, don't you think? Oh, no? You like to monkey with it?
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I spend most of my free time under the house.
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John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts.
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Last month Mitt Romney raised $76 million. He found it in an old sport-coat pocket.
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Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license.
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Kim Jong Un's sister got married. That sounds like another Seth Rogen movie, doesn't it?
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You like science? You enjoy science? Always use it for good, never for evil. Can you promise me that?
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The ayatollah in Iran says he believes that he got the letter, but he thinks he accidentally threw it out with his Crate & Barrel catalog.
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Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.
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Since 1980, there have been 91 breaches of security at the White House. Well, 92 if you count George Bush.
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The Democrats were crushed in the midterm elections. The Republican juggernaut pounded the Democrats, and the pundits say they will not really know what happened to the Democrats until they find the black box.
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It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.
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