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Them bats is smart. They use radar!

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Radar
Bats
Smart
Use

More quotes by David Letterman

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The 2016 presidential campaign is heating up. Can you feel the indifference, the apathy?
David Letterman
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Barack Obama is putting his team together to take over the Administration. So far, he's got his mother-in-law, who is going to be living with him, and they are talking about Hillary for Secretary of State. You have your mother-in-law and Hillary Clinton. Sounds like smooth sailing to me.
David Letterman
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President Bush says he now wants to simplify the tax code. Only those in the blue states will pay.
David Letterman
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If I can be serious now, and I have the feeling I can.
David Letterman
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Sunday is the Academy Awards. Every time an actor says, 'I didn't expect this,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg will do a shot.
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I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?
David Letterman
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Here's why Sarah Palin says she won't be running for president. She says she can be more effective at getting others elected by not running. And I thought, well, that's true, because in 2008 she got Obama elected.
David Letterman
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There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
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Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.
David Letterman
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President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?
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I got my lips chewed off by a dingo!
David Letterman
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Bush met with former President Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter is 76 years old, or as Democrats call him 'their bright new star of the future.'
David Letterman
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I like my cinema gritty, I like my eggs gritty.
David Letterman
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North Korean dictator Kim Jung Il may be stepping down. Yeah, experts in the State Department say he could be replaced by his son, Menta Li Ill.
David Letterman
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It was a tough press conference for President Bush. He spent the first ten minutes trying to pronounce Fallujah. ... Bush insisted that Iraq is not Vietnam. Of course not, he avoided Vietnam.
David Letterman
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The Pope also said that while he's in town he would like to go see 'The Book of Mormon.'
David Letterman
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Now there are reports that Osama bin Laden would like to commit suicide on television. This is the kind of lead-in I have been praying for every since I came to CBS. Bin Laden is planning a televised suicide or, as I call it, hosting the Academy Awards.
David Letterman
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Holyfield won the fight. It's not the first time Romney has been knocked out by a black guy.
David Letterman
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Mitt Romney is not going to be running for president. So you know what that means. We are getting closer and closer to 'President Trump.'
David Letterman
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The FCC has delayed the decision on the Time/Warner Comcast merger. So how do you think those folks like being put on hold?
David Letterman