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Them bats is smart. They use radar!

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Radar
Bats
Smart
Use

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Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.
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I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.
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Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.
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During the debate, Palin winked, wrinkled her nose, and gave a shout-out to a third-grade class. Well, you know, that says commander-in-chief to me right there. You betcha!
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Any online gamblers here? Well, Congress is looking in shutting that down.There's going to be a massive congressional investigation of online gambling and they're going to shut it down. And when they get done with that, they're going to look into this North Korean thing.
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George Clooney is on the program tonight. Next week at this time I will be in a hardware store watching them mix paint.
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Have you seen a copy of Tax Tips for Billionaires?
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Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache?
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Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential hopeful, boxed former heavyweight champion of the world Evander Holyfield for charity. It was a horrible moment when Romney bit off Holyfield's other ear.
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Do good things for other people.
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You like science? You enjoy science? Always use it for good, never for evil. Can you promise me that?
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The candidates at the Republican debate looked like a town council that was outlawing dancing. They looked like a board of directors that was lying about poisoning a river.
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Donald Trump has a great campaign slogan: 'A complex world demands complex hair.'
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President Bush says he is looking forward to the testimony of Condoleezza Rice. Yes, he is very excited about Condoleezza Rice's testimony before Congress. Well, it makes perfect sense - he wants to know what was going on, too.
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Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material.
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Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration.
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Today would have been the birthday of Osama bin Laden. It makes me remember when Seal Team 6 threw him a surprise party.
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Arnold is now the front runner. Everyone was snickering about it a month ago, now it looks like he will be the next governor of California. He is so confident he has already chosen a body oil for the inauguration.
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Mitt Romney said he's not concerned about the very poor. What he means is people making less than a million.
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Nothing, believe me, nothing is more satisfying to me personally than getting a great idea and then beatin' it to death.
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