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Them bats is smart. They use radar!

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Radar
Bats
Smart
Use

More quotes by David Letterman

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President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?
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When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat!
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Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.
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Today coming to work, I saw one of those only in New York scenes. It was a rat who had passed out after choking on a pretzel.
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One day you're the leader of Iraq, the next day you're being checked for fleas on Fox News.
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People say we need royalty. We have royalty in the United States - the Kardashians.
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Newt Gingrich's campaign is broke. All the money gone. So now he's charging $50 for a photo. And for $100 you can marry him.
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All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.
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I got my lips chewed off by a dingo!
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Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.
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Barack Obama's busy moving into the White House. Earlier today, John McCain was blowing on his soup.
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It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.
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So they caught Gadhafi in a storm sewer and shot him. Or as they call it in the Middle East, an orderly transfer of power.
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Moammar Gadhafi was found hiding in a storm sewer with a gold-plated gun. That's me in retirement, ladies and gentlemen.
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The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has new balloons this year including the Pillsbury Doughboy balloon and the first openly gay balloon. Also the Thomas Tank Engine balloon, and they even have the Ebola nurse balloon.
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Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection, at least until his wife cools off.
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Some good news. Finally, President Bush is going to do something about global warming. He became alarmed when another chunk of ice fell off his mother.
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New Orleans: The least annoying French place on Earth.
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They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.
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President Bush says he is looking forward to the testimony of Condoleezza Rice. Yes, he is very excited about Condoleezza Rice's testimony before Congress. Well, it makes perfect sense - he wants to know what was going on, too.
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