Quote

Chi-Os were ideal partners for all occasions. They were discrete, desirable, tactful, polite, and fun... Every mom dreamed of her son coming home with a Chi Omega, a woman's woman.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Woman
Occasions
Home
Ideal
Every
Partners
Tactful
Mom
Omega
Ideals
Discrete
Son
Dreamed
Coming
Polite
Fun
Desirable

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I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.
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When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat!
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President Obama, by the way, is, I think, making his first presidential European trip. And while he's there in Europe, he plans to fire the CEO's of BMW and Volkswagen.
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John Kerry says that foreign leaders want him to be president, but that he can't name the foreign leaders. That's all right, President Bush can't name them either.
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Yesterday was Chinese New Year. It's the Year of the Rabbit. And here's how dumb I am. I'm still writing the Year of the Pig on my checks.
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I wish the iPhone people would design one that's black and has two pieces, and it plugs into the wall and you can pick one piece up and talk into it. I tell you, the whole time I had one of those old-fashioned plug-in phones, not once did I misplace it.
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While I was gone, I had quintuple bypass surgery on my heart. Plus, I got a haircut.
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Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new birth certificate.
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Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.
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The Academy Awards are passed out on Sunday. It's voted by members of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Or as I call them, 50 shades of white.
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Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.'
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I got a call from my mom today, she says, 'Well, David, I see you didn't get the 'Tonight Show' again.'
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They're doing everything they can to tighten security at the White House. Today, on the roof of the White House, they added one of those fake owls.
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Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really bad seats.
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New York is great though. If you?re here and want a one of a kind souvenir be sure to take home the police sketch of your assailant.
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Meryl Streep is on the program tonight. I like to throw her a little work whenever I can.
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