Quote

This isn't brain surgery it's just television.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Surgery
Television
Brain

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
David Letterman
Image
I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
David Letterman
Image
Life experience is the best teacher.
David Letterman
Image
I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.
David Letterman
Image
One day you're the leader of Iraq, the next day you're being checked for fleas on Fox News.
David Letterman
Image
Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war in Iraq that his brother started. All he needs is a hot tub time machine.
David Letterman
Image
Some good news. Finally, President Bush is going to do something about global warming. He became alarmed when another chunk of ice fell off his mother.
David Letterman
Image
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
David Letterman
Image
I spend most of my free time under the house.
David Letterman
Image
Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.
David Letterman
Image
President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.
David Letterman
Image
Bill Clinton may in fact be moving back into the White House. And coincidentally I'm thinking about moving back into my mother's house.
David Letterman
Image
Why we are here: To tremble at the terrible beauty of the stars, to shed a tear at the perfection of Beethoven's symphonies, and to crack a cold one now and then.
David Letterman
Image
People say we need royalty. We have royalty in the United States - the Kardashians.
David Letterman
Image
My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.
David Letterman
Image
Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.
David Letterman
Image
A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf?
David Letterman
Image
It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights.
David Letterman
Image
Presidential candidate Howard Dean is now being attacked for dodging the draft. I never knew this about the guy - but now I know this guy is presidential material.
David Letterman
Image
Kim Jong Il made his staff call him “dear” and spent the day drinking cognac. It's like I have a twin, ladies and gentlemen.
David Letterman