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Mitt Romney said that he liked to fire people. Well, there's a pretty good message to send to Middle America. When Rick Perry heard that, he said, 'Well that's nothing. I like to execute people.'
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
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David Michael Letterman
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More quotes by David Letterman
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In a recent interview, Howard Dean admitted that he used to drink and smoke pot. So, now all he needs to put him over the top is a sex scandal.
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It's disappointing when you finally get to meet someone you admire and he conducts himself as a jerk.
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At the White House, they caught another fence jumper earlier today. It was Obama trying to get out.
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Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound.
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Fifteen years ago tomorrow I had open heart surgery, a quintuple bypass surgery. Thanks to all of my doctors. Because of them, in 15 years of life I've been able to experience, well, acid reflux, short-term memory loss, and erectile dysfunction. Thanks for all your work. It's great to be alive.
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