Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
David Letterman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Thing
Televised
Red
Boys
Face
Faces
Idea
Ideas
More quotes by David Letterman
It looks like President Bush will be handing over power to the Iraqis by June 30th. That's amazing and not only that, but it looks like he'll be handing over power to the Democrats by November 2nd.
David Letterman
The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.
David Letterman
I heard doctors revived a man who had been dead for 4-1/2 minutes. When they asked him what it was like being dead, he said it was like listening to Yankees announcer Phil Rizzuto during a rain delay.
David Letterman
You know who's also joining the Wall Street protesters? Kanye West. That's a real good idea -- a guy with diamonds in his teeth protesting greed.
David Letterman
Gays are now allowed to serve openly in the military. So maybe our next war could be a musical.
David Letterman
It was a tough press conference for President Bush. He spent the first ten minutes trying to pronounce Fallujah. ... Bush insisted that Iraq is not Vietnam. Of course not, he avoided Vietnam.
David Letterman
Weak coffee is the greatest sin against humanity.
David Letterman
There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.
David Letterman
Newt Gingrich wants to build a colony on the Moon. OK, you say, but why? Well, he wants to be the first American to get divorced on the Moon.
David Letterman
There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.
David Letterman
Have you been following the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Or as we call it now, the Dead Sea.
David Letterman
They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.
David Letterman
Arnold is now the front runner. Everyone was snickering about it a month ago, now it looks like he will be the next governor of California. He is so confident he has already chosen a body oil for the inauguration.
David Letterman
The best part about holiday parties is the alcohol. You have a couple of drinks and you tell your coworkers and your superiors what you really think about them. And then the fun begins.
David Letterman
I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.
David Letterman
Trump says that if he's elected, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant.
David Letterman
I'm so excited for my son. On Christmas morning I want to see his face, to be there when he opens the gifts. I want the see what my assistants got him for Christmas.
David Letterman
Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new birth certificate.
David Letterman
Presidential candidate Howard Dean is now being attacked for dodging the draft. I never knew this about the guy - but now I know this guy is presidential material.
David Letterman
New York City subways are now getting high speed Internet. How about some high speed subway trains?
David Letterman
