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There just isn't enough televised Chess
David Letterman
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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Televised
Humour
Chess
Enough
More quotes by David Letterman
Overall Bush's European trip has been an overwhelming success. Not once has he gotten separated from his group.
David Letterman
The best part about holiday parties is the alcohol. You have a couple of drinks and you tell your coworkers and your superiors what you really think about them. And then the fun begins.
David Letterman
Today coming to work, I saw one of those only in New York scenes. It was a rat who had passed out after choking on a pretzel.
David Letterman
People say we need royalty. We have royalty in the United States - the Kardashians.
David Letterman
You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.
David Letterman
Security here in New York City is still very tight. Hookers in Times Square now are demanding two forms of fake ID.
David Letterman
Yesterday, the Senate voted to approve President Clinton's decision to send troops to Bosnia. And they voted to change the name of that mission to Operation Forget About Whitewater.
David Letterman
I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.
David Letterman
Father's Day: When you get that lethal combination of alcohol and new power tools.
David Letterman
Every day is President's Day when you have an intern!
David Letterman
Mayor de Blasio wants to eliminate garbage. He believes New York City produces way too much garbage. Well, heck, forget about producing too much garbage. What about late-night talk shows?
David Letterman
Newt Gingrich wants to repeal child labor laws. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the man that we need to lead us into the 18th century.
David Letterman
Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.
David Letterman
President Bush says he now wants to simplify the tax code. Only those in the blue states will pay.
David Letterman
Al Gore has endorsed Howard Dean for president. That's pretty fitting, the guy that didn't beat Bush endorsing the guy who won't beat Bush.
David Letterman
Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced he is running for president. Ted Cruz was born in Canada, his father fled to the United States from Cuba, and yet Ted Cruz is against immigration. Isn't that odd?
David Letterman
Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.
David Letterman
Mitt Romney looks like a guy modeling briefs on a package of underwear ... He looks like a guy who goes to the restroom when the check comes ... He looks like a guy who would run a seminar on condo flipping ... He looks like he is the closer at a Cadillac dealership.... He looks like that guy on the golf course in the Levitra commercial.
David Letterman
John Boehner - doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of guy who licks his thumb when he counts his money.
David Letterman
I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.
David Letterman