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I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Goal
Change
Trying
Smudge
Make
Collectives
Collective
Unconscious
Comedy
Justice

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Today coming to work, I saw one of those only in New York scenes. It was a rat who had passed out after choking on a pretzel.
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You like science? You enjoy science? Always use it for good, never for evil. Can you promise me that?
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The 4th of July combines the two things Americans love most in one day: alcohol and explosives.
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Recently a guy was having trouble with his computer. So he unplugs it, takes it out in the alley, pulls out a gun, and shoots it eight times. Coincidentally, that's how Hillary got rid of her emails.
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There is so much oil now in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can thank the folks of British Petroleum for this, so much oil in the Gulf, you can now park on it.
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You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.
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But I was thinking about this, the Obamas want to adopt a stray dog from the pound. And I think that is admirable. I believe the last president to bring a stray dog into the White House got impeached.
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President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.
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And how about that Barack Obama? You know what they're saying? For the first time he's starting to slip in the polls. Barack Obama is starting to slip in the polls. Don't worry. He's got a plan. He's going to be to campaigning in Europe.
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When Martha gets out she'll be under house arrest in her big $40 million mansion in Bedford. Boy, that'll teach her. She's only allowed out of the house for doctors visits, grocery shopping, or to dump more stock.
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President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'
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Mitt Romney said he's not concerned about the very poor. What he means is people making less than a million.
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Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had advisers? Really?
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