Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
David Letterman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Inspirational
Wrestling
Reality
Believes
America
Witty
Country
Proportion
Real
Professional
Believe
Significant
Population
Faked
Moon
Landing
More quotes by David Letterman
If I can be serious now, and I have the feeling I can.
David Letterman
In Hollywood, Oscar is king.
David Letterman
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
David Letterman
Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.
David Letterman
North Korean dictator Kim Jung Il may be stepping down. Yeah, experts in the State Department say he could be replaced by his son, Menta Li Ill.
David Letterman
When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was the cat!
David Letterman
Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.
David Letterman
How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying he botched the joke. ... This guy can lose elections he's not even in.
David Letterman
This warning from the New York City Department of Health Fraud: Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger.
David Letterman
The post office is raising the price of stamps again. I heard that and said to myself, 'If only there was an inexpensive electronic way of communicating.'
David Letterman
Let's see what's going on over in Iraq. A Burger King has opened up and prostitutes are back on the street of Baghdad after 20 years. Fast food and hookers - they are truly living the American Dream.
David Letterman
It's tax season. When I woke this morning and realized it was tax season, I said, My God, didn't we just pay taxes last year?
David Letterman
Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar.
David Letterman
President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?
David Letterman
How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running for this Olympics. But here's what happened. We got outbribed.
David Letterman
Here's why Sarah Palin says she won't be running for president. She says she can be more effective at getting others elected by not running. And I thought, well, that's true, because in 2008 she got Obama elected.
David Letterman
Mary Keitany from Kenya won the women's race at the New York City Marathon. You can tell she was fast because guys on the street didn't even have time to finish their catcalls.
David Letterman
The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It's being called 'Operation Approval Ratings.'
David Letterman
I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.
David Letterman
Love: You can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun.
David Letterman