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There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

David Letterman

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David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
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Accounting
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Several
Show
Business
Shows

More quotes by David Letterman

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Bill Clinton has a brand new book coming out in a few months and the Democrats are worried that the Clinton book might upstage the Kerry campaign. I'm thinking, hell, day-old meat loaf could upstage that campaign.
David Letterman
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Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential hopeful, boxed former heavyweight champion of the world Evander Holyfield for charity. It was a horrible moment when Romney bit off Holyfield's other ear.
David Letterman
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The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag
David Letterman
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Mitt Romney looks like a guy modeling briefs on a package of underwear ... He looks like a guy who goes to the restroom when the check comes ... He looks like a guy who would run a seminar on condo flipping ... He looks like he is the closer at a Cadillac dealership.... He looks like that guy on the golf course in the Levitra commercial.
David Letterman
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Do you remember when you found out there was no Santa Claus? I was so upset I didn't think I'd be able to do the show.
David Letterman
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I was talking to a friend about Santorum. He said, 'For all my years in the State Department, I know one thing. Terrorists, what they fear most is a guy in a sweater vest.'
David Letterman
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I knew that if I woke up hung over, I couldn't do the best possible job on the show, so I had to quit. Also, I'd consumed a lot of beer for a lot of years, and I thought, That's enough. I've had my fun and I'm glad I quit.
David Letterman
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I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.
David Letterman
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While I was gone, I had quintuple bypass surgery on my heart. Plus, I got a haircut.
David Letterman
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Yesterday was not only daylight saving time, but also International Women's Day. What better way to address the issue of inequality for women than giving them a day that's missing an hour.
David Letterman
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Here's my problem. On Valentine's Day the flowers are wilting and so am I.
David Letterman
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So they caught Gadhafi in a storm sewer and shot him. Or as they call it in the Middle East, an orderly transfer of power.
David Letterman
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Donald Trump has a great campaign slogan: 'A complex world demands complex hair.'
David Letterman
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Holyfield won the fight. It's not the first time Romney has been knocked out by a black guy.
David Letterman
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Now all of us can talk to the NSA -- just by dialing any number.
David Letterman
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You know who's upset now with ISIS? Al Qaeda. It's because ISIS is getting more attention than Al Qaeda. So now, Saturday night will be Ayman al-Zawahiri bobblehead night.
David Letterman
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Now in Utah if you get the death sentence, they have the firing squad. In Russia, they call that early retirement.
David Letterman
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President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'
David Letterman
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Father's Day: When you get that lethal combination of alcohol and new power tools.
David Letterman
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My political position is that I'm happy to be alive and in North America.
David Letterman