Quote

I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host.

David Letterman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Letterman
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: April 12
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Talk Show Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Weather Presenter
Writer
Indianapolis
Indiana
David Michael Letterman
Earl Hofert
Talk
Show
Funny
Fidgeting
Shows
Host
Else
Witty
Cannot
Humorous
Would
Sing
Dance

More quotes by David Letterman

Image
In Hollywood, Oscar is king.
David Letterman
Image
Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis.
David Letterman
Image
So they caught Gadhafi in a storm sewer and shot him. Or as they call it in the Middle East, an orderly transfer of power.
David Letterman
Image
Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration.
David Letterman
Image
Hillary has now erased all of her emails, and she also had all of her pantsuits dry cleaned.
David Letterman
Image
I wish the iPhone people would design one that's black and has two pieces, and it plugs into the wall and you can pick one piece up and talk into it. I tell you, the whole time I had one of those old-fashioned plug-in phones, not once did I misplace it.
David Letterman
Image
John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts.
David Letterman
Image
Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.
David Letterman
Image
This warning from the New York City Department of Health Fraud: Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger.
David Letterman
Image
Child labor, not a problem. Censorship, not a problem. Torture, not a problem. Chewing gum in China - oh, my God! You better not be over here chewing gum.
David Letterman
Image
President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.
David Letterman
Image
Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates.
David Letterman
Image
They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.
David Letterman
Image
Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.
David Letterman
Image
Here's the plot of 'Interstellar.' Refugees - they're known as Democrats - they're looking for a new planet.
David Letterman
Image
Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.
David Letterman
Image
Herman Cain was unaware that China is a nuclear power. And I said to myself, 'Hey, Herman, how about making an unwanted advance on a history book?'
David Letterman
Image
They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.
David Letterman
Image
Incredible experience, watching a baby birth on the internet. It's now my screensaver.
David Letterman
Image
Congratulations to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term. It was very close. He received 99 percent of the vote, and one percent of the vote went for last-minute candidate Frank Lautenberg.
David Letterman