I don't understand why women get upset when you compare them to one of the monkeys from Planet of the Apes, even one of the heroic ones, like Dr. Zera.

I once got a letter from a woman who told me she was 90. She said if she were 30 years younger, I would have had to watch out. I guess 60 seems really young when you're 90. She said she would eat me with a spoon.

Life is short. It's God's fault. Sorry.

To every Armageddonist, every earth lover must keep saying with all the sincerity and affection we can muster, “May God make this world as beautiful to you as it has been to me.

Be mindful of your self-talk. It's a conversation with the universe.

I felt a rush of trust--felt that life might be not just tolerable but beautiful, if I could only remember to find the bare Present.

I'm the star of the show. I should have a decent haircut.

Writers are used to being re-created, and need it.

My wife and I replaced our nest with one on wheels. The RV became our new home. It's remarkable how homey it became and how quickly. It's obviously very condensed, and we do travel light, but when you think about what you really need, we have the basics - a bed, a bathroom, a kitchen, and a table to sit at to eat and write.

I once drew a picture of Jack Nicholson in The Shining. But I put it away after a Feng Shui expert told me about the bad vibes

Thus did my siblings and I learn one of the hard lessons of life: the best way to strip the allure and dreaminess from a lifelong dream is, very often, simply to have it come true.