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It was only after I untied my girlfriend from being face down on the bed that I learned her screaming, 'Asshole!' was a statement about my character and not an invitation or request.

David Henry

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David Henry
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At a wedding last week, my wife said: 'Isn't the bride beautiful ?' When I responded by saying, 'Yeah, but her blowjobs aren't half as good as yours', she got all pissed off. Women - they can't take a compliment!
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Nothing can burst your fatherly bubble faster than hearing your daughter come home from a date and saying: 'Some nights I don't know why I even bother to wear panties'.
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If Adam had had a real hairy back, we probably wouldn't be here today.
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