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You don't have to do anything especially worthy to create or deserve self-esteem all you have to do is turn off that critical, haranguing, inner voice.

David D. Burns

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David D. Burns
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: September 19
Author
Psychiatrist
Anything
Critical
Self
Inner
Deserve
Especially
Turn
Create
Turns
Esteem
Voice
Worthy

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Kindness is the cause of all anxiety.
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Guilt doesn't help. What should fill in for it? Remorse. Remorse is when you feel bad about what you did. Guilt is when you feel bad about who you are.
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Depression has been called the worlds number one public health problem. In fact, depression is so widespread it is considered the common cold of psychiatric disturbances. But there is a grim difference between depression and a cold. Depression can kill you.
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Perfection' is man's ultimate illusion. It simply doesn't exist in the universe.... If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.
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Cognitive therapy is based on the idea that when you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel and behave. In other words, if we can learn to think about other people in a more positive and realistic way, it will be far easier to resolve conflicts and develop rewarding personal and professional relationships.
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It can be helpful simply to make a written or mental list of the things you do each day. Then give yourself a mental credit for each of them, however small. This will help you focus on what you have done instead of what you haven't gotten around to do. It may sound simplistic, but it works.
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Don't apologize for what you think you did wrong. Apologize for what they think you did wrong.
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Perfectionism becomes a badge of honor with you playing the part of the suffering hero.
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The best way to confront your fears it to stop avoiding the situation you're most afraid of.
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Forgiving yourself, not guilt, increases personal accountability.
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Negative thinking patterns can be immensely deceptive and persuasive, and change is rarely easy. But with patience and persistence, I believe that nearly all individuals suffering from depression can improve and experience a sense of joy and self-esteem once again.
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Apologies do make a difference. Believe it or not, research shows people often prefer them over money.
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You're not a bad person. But you sometimes do bad things. You know what that makes you? Human.
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Practically everybody knows what its like to feel anxious, worried, nervous, afraid, uptight, or panicky. Often, anxiety is just a nuisance, but sometimes it can cripple you and prevent you from doing what you really want with your life. But I have some great news for you: You can change the way you feel.
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Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching at air.
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If you're self-compassionate, you'll tend to have higher self-esteem than if you're endlessly self-critical. And like high self-esteem - self-compassion is associated with significantly less anxiety and depression, as well as more happiness, optimism, and positive emotions.
David D. Burns
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Accept yourself. But realize your behaviors can be bad.
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Can you predict the future with absolute certainty? Your answer must be no. You have two options: You can either decide to accept yourself as an imperfect human being with limited knowledge and realize that you will at times make mistakes, or you can hate yourself for it.
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Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.
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Forgive yourself and be ready to forgive yourself in the future. You're gonna screw up. It's okay.
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