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You don't have to do anything especially worthy to create or deserve self-esteem all you have to do is turn off that critical, haranguing, inner voice.

David D. Burns

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David D. Burns
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: September 19
Author
Psychiatrist
Self
Inner
Deserve
Especially
Turn
Create
Turns
Esteem
Voice
Worthy
Anything
Critical

More quotes by David D. Burns

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Perfection' is man's ultimate illusion. It simply doesn't exist in the universe.... If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.
David D. Burns
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Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching air. They suffer from mood disorders, troubled relationships, and stress. They may even achieve less than others.
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Every time you feel depressed about something, try to identify a corresponding negative thought you had just prior to and during the depression. Because these thoughts have actually created your bad mood, by learning to restructure them, you can change your mood.
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Apologies do make a difference. Believe it or not, research shows people often prefer them over money.
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Don't apologize for what you think you did wrong. Apologize for what they think you did wrong.
David D. Burns
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Perfectionism becomes a badge of honor with you playing the part of the suffering hero.
David D. Burns
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Negative thinking patterns can be immensely deceptive and persuasive, and change is rarely easy. But with patience and persistence, I believe that nearly all individuals suffering from depression can improve and experience a sense of joy and self-esteem once again.
David D. Burns
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Learn to accept your limits and you'll become a happier person.
David D. Burns
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If you're self-compassionate, you'll tend to have higher self-esteem than if you're endlessly self-critical. And like high self-esteem - self-compassion is associated with significantly less anxiety and depression, as well as more happiness, optimism, and positive emotions.
David D. Burns
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Forgiving yourself, not guilt, increases personal accountability.
David D. Burns
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Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching at air.
David D. Burns
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When we're rational about rule-breaking we set a limit. You don't get 30 years in prison for a traffic ticket. But sometimes you sentence yourself to months or years of emotional pain over minor offenses.
David D. Burns
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Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.
David D. Burns
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It can be helpful simply to make a written or mental list of the things you do each day. Then give yourself a mental credit for each of them, however small. This will help you focus on what you have done instead of what you haven't gotten around to do. It may sound simplistic, but it works.
David D. Burns
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Cognitive therapy is based on the idea that when you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel and behave. In other words, if we can learn to think about other people in a more positive and realistic way, it will be far easier to resolve conflicts and develop rewarding personal and professional relationships.
David D. Burns
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Guilt doesn't help. What should fill in for it? Remorse. Remorse is when you feel bad about what you did. Guilt is when you feel bad about who you are.
David D. Burns
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When two people respect each other, the ability to be vulnerable and to reveal hurt feelings can create a powerful emotional connection that is the source of real intimacy and friendship.
David D. Burns
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Kindness is the cause of all anxiety.
David D. Burns
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What sentence will you choose to impose on yourself? Are you willing to stop suffering and making yourself miserable when your sentence has expired? This would at least be a responsible way to punish yourself because it would be time-limited.
David D. Burns
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Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.
David D. Burns