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Don't apologize for what you think you did wrong. Apologize for what they think you did wrong.
David D. Burns
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David D. Burns
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: September 19
Author
Psychiatrist
Think
Thinking
Apologize
Apologizing
Wrong
More quotes by David D. Burns
You don't have to do anything especially worthy to create or deserve self-esteem all you have to do is turn off that critical, haranguing, inner voice.
David D. Burns
You're not a bad person. But you sometimes do bad things. You know what that makes you? Human.
David D. Burns
Cognitive therapy is based on the idea that when you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel and behave. In other words, if we can learn to think about other people in a more positive and realistic way, it will be far easier to resolve conflicts and develop rewarding personal and professional relationships.
David D. Burns
Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.
David D. Burns
Forgiving yourself, not guilt, increases personal accountability.
David D. Burns
Every time you feel depressed about something, try to identify a corresponding negative thought you had just prior to and during the depression. Because these thoughts have actually created your bad mood, by learning to restructure them, you can change your mood.
David D. Burns
Perfection' is man's ultimate illusion. It simply doesn't exist in the universe.... If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.
David D. Burns
Forgive yourself and be ready to forgive yourself in the future. You're gonna screw up. It's okay.
David D. Burns
Perfectionism becomes a badge of honor with you playing the part of the suffering hero.
David D. Burns
The best way to confront your fears it to stop avoiding the situation you're most afraid of.
David D. Burns
Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching at air.
David D. Burns
Kindness is the cause of all anxiety.
David D. Burns
Depression has been called the worlds number one public health problem. In fact, depression is so widespread it is considered the common cold of psychiatric disturbances. But there is a grim difference between depression and a cold. Depression can kill you.
David D. Burns
If you're self-compassionate, you'll tend to have higher self-esteem than if you're endlessly self-critical. And like high self-esteem - self-compassion is associated with significantly less anxiety and depression, as well as more happiness, optimism, and positive emotions.
David D. Burns
When we're rational about rule-breaking we set a limit. You don't get 30 years in prison for a traffic ticket. But sometimes you sentence yourself to months or years of emotional pain over minor offenses.
David D. Burns
Can you predict the future with absolute certainty? Your answer must be no. You have two options: You can either decide to accept yourself as an imperfect human being with limited knowledge and realize that you will at times make mistakes, or you can hate yourself for it.
David D. Burns
Apologies do make a difference. Believe it or not, research shows people often prefer them over money.
David D. Burns
Accept yourself. But realize your behaviors can be bad.
David D. Burns
Guilt doesn't help. What should fill in for it? Remorse. Remorse is when you feel bad about what you did. Guilt is when you feel bad about who you are.
David D. Burns
Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.
David D. Burns
