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Don't apologize for what you think you did wrong. Apologize for what they think you did wrong.
David D. Burns
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David D. Burns
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: September 19
Author
Psychiatrist
Wrong
Think
Thinking
Apologize
Apologizing
More quotes by David D. Burns
Forgiving yourself, not guilt, increases personal accountability.
David D. Burns
Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching air. They suffer from mood disorders, troubled relationships, and stress. They may even achieve less than others.
David D. Burns
When we're rational about rule-breaking we set a limit. You don't get 30 years in prison for a traffic ticket. But sometimes you sentence yourself to months or years of emotional pain over minor offenses.
David D. Burns
It can be helpful simply to make a written or mental list of the things you do each day. Then give yourself a mental credit for each of them, however small. This will help you focus on what you have done instead of what you haven't gotten around to do. It may sound simplistic, but it works.
David D. Burns
If you're self-compassionate, you'll tend to have higher self-esteem than if you're endlessly self-critical. And like high self-esteem - self-compassion is associated with significantly less anxiety and depression, as well as more happiness, optimism, and positive emotions.
David D. Burns
Can you predict the future with absolute certainty? Your answer must be no. You have two options: You can either decide to accept yourself as an imperfect human being with limited knowledge and realize that you will at times make mistakes, or you can hate yourself for it.
David D. Burns
What sentence will you choose to impose on yourself? Are you willing to stop suffering and making yourself miserable when your sentence has expired? This would at least be a responsible way to punish yourself because it would be time-limited.
David D. Burns
Cognitive therapy is based on the idea that when you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel and behave. In other words, if we can learn to think about other people in a more positive and realistic way, it will be far easier to resolve conflicts and develop rewarding personal and professional relationships.
David D. Burns
Apologies do make a difference. Believe it or not, research shows people often prefer them over money.
David D. Burns
Perfection' is man's ultimate illusion. It simply doesn't exist in the universe.... If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.
David D. Burns
Accept yourself. But realize your behaviors can be bad.
David D. Burns
Perfectionism becomes a badge of honor with you playing the part of the suffering hero.
David D. Burns
When two people respect each other, the ability to be vulnerable and to reveal hurt feelings can create a powerful emotional connection that is the source of real intimacy and friendship.
David D. Burns
The best way to confront your fears it to stop avoiding the situation you're most afraid of.
David D. Burns
Learn to accept your limits and you'll become a happier person.
David D. Burns
Depression has been called the worlds number one public health problem. In fact, depression is so widespread it is considered the common cold of psychiatric disturbances. But there is a grim difference between depression and a cold. Depression can kill you.
David D. Burns
You're not a bad person. But you sometimes do bad things. You know what that makes you? Human.
David D. Burns
Forgive yourself and be ready to forgive yourself in the future. You're gonna screw up. It's okay.
David D. Burns
Practically everybody knows what its like to feel anxious, worried, nervous, afraid, uptight, or panicky. Often, anxiety is just a nuisance, but sometimes it can cripple you and prevent you from doing what you really want with your life. But I have some great news for you: You can change the way you feel.
David D. Burns
You don't have to do anything especially worthy to create or deserve self-esteem all you have to do is turn off that critical, haranguing, inner voice.
David D. Burns