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Don't apologize for what you think you did wrong. Apologize for what they think you did wrong.
David D. Burns
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David D. Burns
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: September 19
Author
Psychiatrist
Wrong
Think
Thinking
Apologize
Apologizing
More quotes by David D. Burns
Kindness is the cause of all anxiety.
David D. Burns
Can you predict the future with absolute certainty? Your answer must be no. You have two options: You can either decide to accept yourself as an imperfect human being with limited knowledge and realize that you will at times make mistakes, or you can hate yourself for it.
David D. Burns
Accept yourself. But realize your behaviors can be bad.
David D. Burns
When we're rational about rule-breaking we set a limit. You don't get 30 years in prison for a traffic ticket. But sometimes you sentence yourself to months or years of emotional pain over minor offenses.
David D. Burns
Negative thinking patterns can be immensely deceptive and persuasive, and change is rarely easy. But with patience and persistence, I believe that nearly all individuals suffering from depression can improve and experience a sense of joy and self-esteem once again.
David D. Burns
Forgive yourself and be ready to forgive yourself in the future. You're gonna screw up. It's okay.
David D. Burns
Practically everybody knows what its like to feel anxious, worried, nervous, afraid, uptight, or panicky. Often, anxiety is just a nuisance, but sometimes it can cripple you and prevent you from doing what you really want with your life. But I have some great news for you: You can change the way you feel.
David D. Burns
It can be helpful simply to make a written or mental list of the things you do each day. Then give yourself a mental credit for each of them, however small. This will help you focus on what you have done instead of what you haven't gotten around to do. It may sound simplistic, but it works.
David D. Burns
Apologies do make a difference. Believe it or not, research shows people often prefer them over money.
David D. Burns
If you're self-compassionate, you'll tend to have higher self-esteem than if you're endlessly self-critical. And like high self-esteem - self-compassion is associated with significantly less anxiety and depression, as well as more happiness, optimism, and positive emotions.
David D. Burns
Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching air. They suffer from mood disorders, troubled relationships, and stress. They may even achieve less than others.
David D. Burns
Reaching for the stars, perfectionists may end up clutching at air.
David D. Burns
What sentence will you choose to impose on yourself? Are you willing to stop suffering and making yourself miserable when your sentence has expired? This would at least be a responsible way to punish yourself because it would be time-limited.
David D. Burns
Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.
David D. Burns
Forgiving yourself, not guilt, increases personal accountability.
David D. Burns
Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault.
David D. Burns
Perfectionism becomes a badge of honor with you playing the part of the suffering hero.
David D. Burns
You don't have to do anything especially worthy to create or deserve self-esteem all you have to do is turn off that critical, haranguing, inner voice.
David D. Burns
When two people respect each other, the ability to be vulnerable and to reveal hurt feelings can create a powerful emotional connection that is the source of real intimacy and friendship.
David D. Burns
Cognitive therapy is based on the idea that when you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel and behave. In other words, if we can learn to think about other people in a more positive and realistic way, it will be far easier to resolve conflicts and develop rewarding personal and professional relationships.
David D. Burns