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I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
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More quotes by David Cross

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I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
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I was born Jewish, but I am an atheist. I dont believe in God.
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I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
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I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
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Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.
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There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
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I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
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I think I could have a funnier, more economic sets. But that's the comedy I do. And I understand if people aren't interested in it and would rather listen to someone else. But I'll never understand the anger people have toward me.
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Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.
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I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
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I think the policies, for the most part, that [Hillary Clinton] will put in place are not going to make positive changes. There'll be more status quo. She'll certainly be good for some groups of people. Whatever.
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There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.
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The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
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We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
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The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
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I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.
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The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
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I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
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I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.
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There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.
David Cross