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I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
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Stage Actor
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Roswell
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More quotes by David Cross
I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
David Cross
I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
David Cross
I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
David Cross
Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.
David Cross
I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.
David Cross
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
David Cross
The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
David Cross
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
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Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.
David Cross
I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
David Cross
Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
I'm directing the Sky show. I'm not going to be in it. I'm just writing and directing it. So that'll satisfy that part of my brain.
David Cross
And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross
I'm pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I'm on the above-average side of happy people.
David Cross
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
David Cross
I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
David Cross
We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
