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I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Whether
Funny
Think
Thinking
Subjective
Professional
Comic

More quotes by David Cross

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I think I could have a funnier, more economic sets. But that's the comedy I do. And I understand if people aren't interested in it and would rather listen to someone else. But I'll never understand the anger people have toward me.
David Cross
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Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
David Cross
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I'm finally going to be able to finally criticize [Hillary Clinton] without being accused of being a sexist - that idea. I'm not a fan, I don't like her, but you can't say anything without being accused of being a sexist pig, which is unfair.
David Cross
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Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
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I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
David Cross
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I'm concerned about how and why there is no gun control.
David Cross
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Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.
David Cross
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We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
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I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
David Cross
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I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.
David Cross
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I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
David Cross
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I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
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I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
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I'm not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country.
David Cross
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I'm directing the Sky show. I'm not going to be in it. I'm just writing and directing it. So that'll satisfy that part of my brain.
David Cross
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I think the policies, for the most part, that [Hillary Clinton] will put in place are not going to make positive changes. There'll be more status quo. She'll certainly be good for some groups of people. Whatever.
David Cross
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I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.
David Cross
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I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like An Evening Of Political Comedy.
David Cross
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I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
David Cross
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Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.
David Cross