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I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Work
Make
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More quotes by David Cross

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I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.
David Cross
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I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
David Cross
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I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.
David Cross
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I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
David Cross
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I just did 101 shows in 86 different cities in America and Europe and Canada, and I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say, at the vast majority of shows, they loved it. There were encores, there were standing ovations.
David Cross
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I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
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I'm very vocal about my belief that all religion is garbage. Most of my friends are religious or at least spiritual. These are people I like and I know are intelligent. It's this thing that I carry around. I know I'd be a better person if I was fairer, but it's at the core of who I am and what I believe.
David Cross
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I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
David Cross
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There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
David Cross
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In my political philosophy - which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton - I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.
David Cross
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Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
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There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, Why am I here? What am I doing?
David Cross
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I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.
David Cross
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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
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I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.
David Cross
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You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross
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I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
David Cross
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High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.
David Cross
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The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
David Cross