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I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Think
Handy
Thinking
Pornography
Considered
Star
Horse
Stars
Art
Shaky
Form
Sucking

More quotes by David Cross

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I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like An Evening Of Political Comedy.
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I'm not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country.
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I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
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I'm very vocal about my belief that all religion is garbage. Most of my friends are religious or at least spiritual. These are people I like and I know are intelligent. It's this thing that I carry around. I know I'd be a better person if I was fairer, but it's at the core of who I am and what I believe.
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The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
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I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
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The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
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I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
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You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
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We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
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There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, Why am I here? What am I doing?
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I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.
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[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
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Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
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I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
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The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
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I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
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I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
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And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross