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I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Art
Shaky
Form
Sucking
Think
Handy
Thinking
Pornography
Considered
Star
Horse
Stars

More quotes by David Cross

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I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
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It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
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I think the policies, for the most part, that [Hillary Clinton] will put in place are not going to make positive changes. There'll be more status quo. She'll certainly be good for some groups of people. Whatever.
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The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
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I'm concerned about organized religion getting away with what it gets away with.
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I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
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I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
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I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.
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I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
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There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, Why am I here? What am I doing?
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I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
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I'm directing the Sky show. I'm not going to be in it. I'm just writing and directing it. So that'll satisfy that part of my brain.
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The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
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Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.
David Cross
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It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
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Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
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I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.
David Cross
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I was born Jewish, but I am an atheist. I dont believe in God.
David Cross