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I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Considered
Star
Horse
Stars
Art
Shaky
Form
Sucking
Think
Handy
Thinking
Pornography

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Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
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I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
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Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
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Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.
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I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
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I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
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We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
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We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
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There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, Why am I here? What am I doing?
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There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
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Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.
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I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.
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I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
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I just did 101 shows in 86 different cities in America and Europe and Canada, and I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say, at the vast majority of shows, they loved it. There were encores, there were standing ovations.
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I do not want to encourage heckling and outbreaks at all.
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In my political philosophy - which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton - I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
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I'm concerned about organized religion getting away with what it gets away with.
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I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
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I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.
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