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I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Horse
Stars
Art
Shaky
Form
Sucking
Think
Handy
Thinking
Pornography
Considered
Star

More quotes by David Cross

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I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
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The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
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And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
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I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.
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There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, Why am I here? What am I doing?
David Cross
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[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
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I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.
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It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
David Cross
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It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
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I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.
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High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.
David Cross
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I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
David Cross
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I'm not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country.
David Cross
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I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
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I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
David Cross
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I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.
David Cross
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We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
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You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross
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Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys 'cause you're in a sound booth by yourself and they're all in a room in Atlanta.
David Cross