Quote

[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Grows
Limit
Halley
Funny
Warm
Handbook
Together
Yeah
Comet
Time
Limits
Telescope
Like
Watches
Comets
Watch
Telescopes
Humor
Blanket
Grow
Dating

More quotes by David Cross

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I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.
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I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
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I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, Thank you for doing that - type of reviews. It's ballsy, it's honest, it's hilarious - that kind of stuff. Obviously those are fans.
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There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
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I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.
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I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
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I'm directing the Sky show. I'm not going to be in it. I'm just writing and directing it. So that'll satisfy that part of my brain.
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I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.
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I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
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I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
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I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
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I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
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I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
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I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.
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I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.
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I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like An Evening Of Political Comedy.
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There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.
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I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.
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I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
David Cross