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[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Funny
Warm
Handbook
Together
Yeah
Comet
Time
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Telescope
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Telescopes
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Blanket
Grow
Dating
Grows
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Halley
More quotes by David Cross
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
David Cross
I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like An Evening Of Political Comedy.
David Cross
I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
David Cross
In my political philosophy - which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton - I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.
David Cross
I'm concerned about organized religion getting away with what it gets away with.
David Cross
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.
David Cross
And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross
Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.
David Cross
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
David Cross
Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.
David Cross
I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
David Cross
I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
I think I could have a funnier, more economic sets. But that's the comedy I do. And I understand if people aren't interested in it and would rather listen to someone else. But I'll never understand the anger people have toward me.
David Cross
There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
David Cross
We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
David Cross
Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.
David Cross
Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys 'cause you're in a sound booth by yourself and they're all in a room in Atlanta.
David Cross
