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Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Funny
Pants
Speak
English
Wear
Humor
Open
Eyes
Forget
Eye
Dates
More quotes by David Cross
I think the policies, for the most part, that [Hillary Clinton] will put in place are not going to make positive changes. There'll be more status quo. She'll certainly be good for some groups of people. Whatever.
David Cross
I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
David Cross
I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.
David Cross
My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.
David Cross
Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.
David Cross
I think I could have a funnier, more economic sets. But that's the comedy I do. And I understand if people aren't interested in it and would rather listen to someone else. But I'll never understand the anger people have toward me.
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.
David Cross
I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.
David Cross
I'm concerned about how and why there is no gun control.
David Cross
There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
David Cross
It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
David Cross
The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
David Cross
We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.
David Cross
I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.
David Cross
I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
David Cross
I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.
David Cross
I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.
David Cross
We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
