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Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Speak
English
Wear
Humor
Open
Eyes
Forget
Eye
Dates
Funny
Pants

More quotes by David Cross

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It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
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There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
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I'd be curious to find out, but I don't think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry.
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I'm very vocal about my belief that all religion is garbage. Most of my friends are religious or at least spiritual. These are people I like and I know are intelligent. It's this thing that I carry around. I know I'd be a better person if I was fairer, but it's at the core of who I am and what I believe.
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There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, Why am I here? What am I doing?
David Cross
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
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I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
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The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
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I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
David Cross
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Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys 'cause you're in a sound booth by yourself and they're all in a room in Atlanta.
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I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.
David Cross
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I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
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I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
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I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.
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The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
David Cross
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I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, Thank you for doing that - type of reviews. It's ballsy, it's honest, it's hilarious - that kind of stuff. Obviously those are fans.
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I think the policies, for the most part, that [Hillary Clinton] will put in place are not going to make positive changes. There'll be more status quo. She'll certainly be good for some groups of people. Whatever.
David Cross
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I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.
David Cross
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And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross