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Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Eyes
Forget
Eye
Dates
Funny
Pants
Speak
English
Wear
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More quotes by David Cross
Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.
David Cross
I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.
David Cross
I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.
David Cross
I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
David Cross
The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
David Cross
I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
David Cross
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
David Cross
Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.
David Cross
I'm not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country.
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys 'cause you're in a sound booth by yourself and they're all in a room in Atlanta.
David Cross
It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
David Cross
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.
David Cross
I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
David Cross
We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
David Cross
