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Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Pants
Funny
English
Speak
Wear
Humor
Open
Eyes
Forget
Dates
Eye
More quotes by David Cross
Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.
David Cross
I'm directing the Sky show. I'm not going to be in it. I'm just writing and directing it. So that'll satisfy that part of my brain.
David Cross
I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.
David Cross
I'm finally going to be able to finally criticize [Hillary Clinton] without being accused of being a sexist - that idea. I'm not a fan, I don't like her, but you can't say anything without being accused of being a sexist pig, which is unfair.
David Cross
I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.
David Cross
You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross
And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross
I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
David Cross
I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.
David Cross
I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.
David Cross
I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
David Cross
I think the policies, for the most part, that [Hillary Clinton] will put in place are not going to make positive changes. There'll be more status quo. She'll certainly be good for some groups of people. Whatever.
David Cross
My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
David Cross
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.
David Cross
I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
David Cross
I'd be curious to find out, but I don't think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry.
David Cross