Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Funny
Describe
Business
Offer
Ideas
Service
Going
Offers
People
Places
Kosher
Humor
Advertise
High
Pork
Times
Amongst
More quotes by David Cross
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
In my political philosophy - which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton - I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.
David Cross
I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.
David Cross
There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.
David Cross
It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
David Cross
I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
David Cross
The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
David Cross
I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
David Cross
If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
David Cross
You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross
I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
David Cross
The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
David Cross
There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, Why am I here? What am I doing?
David Cross
I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.
David Cross
Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.
David Cross